Wednesday, March 26, 2008

The perils of being a former (really?) slut

The aforementioned A started talking to me again on Sunday. I believe this will require some backstory.

We met online, in September, I believe, and I found out that he only lives a few blocks from me, and we have a couple of vague mutual friends. (This town is small.) From chatting online, I discovered he was really looking for a relationship, and I wasn't at the time. (I wasn't at the time I started dating M either, but that's another story.) But, he wanted to hang out and one thing lead to another and we had a pretty good NSA thing going, but I could feel him starting to get attached, which made me freak out because I didn't want to hurt anyone else, I just wanted to have good consistent sex with someone that I was friends with. Apparently this is too much to ask.

Well, we were fucking for about 3 months non-exclusively, and it was excellent sex. Then the college quarter ended right before Thanksgiving, and he just disappeared. Didn't answer phone calls or texts, and was never online (he used to be online every day, almost all day). Of course, I didn't call or text that often, as I wasn't really supposed to be keeping tabs on him, but when we saw each other frequently and then there was NOTHING, it made me wonder what that fuck was going on. And I think I realized that I did have some feelings for him...I guess it's true that you don't know what you've got 'til it's gone. The sex with him was somehow different than what I had previously experienced. He was kind of a switch...he loved to be dominated, but also could pull a number on me as well.

Anyway, my last text to him in mid December said something to the effect of "Just wanted to make sure you're still alive." Two weeks later I get a drunken phone call at 3am so he could tell me he was still alive, and that he needed to go pass out. Later, I never did get out of him why he disappeared, but I said we could stay friends. We had one good conversation after that on the phone about sex, where I learned about his ex that used to lead him around by a leash around his balls, and his affinity for leather. Then he sorta disappeared again and called me once around the time M and I started dating in early February. I posed the idea to M of an open relationship, as A had expressed interest in fucking me again, but M's a little too traditional for such things, so I made a conscious effort to try to forget about A and delve into my relationship with M. And I was completely successful. Until Sunday.

A tried to explain to me why he disappeared, but still didn't have a concrete reason...I think if I hadn't been so anti-relationship at the time, A and I would have ended up in one. He finally did apologize for dropping off the face of earth (I think he finally realized how much that sucked for me) and that he missed hanging out with me and wanted to still be friends. I've tried being friends with former fuck-buddies before, and it's difficult to say in the least. Still, I told him that I would hang out with him the next day. He never showed...something about a huge family argument. But still he got me thinking...

A's cock is thicker than M's, and while he hadn't used it in quite the same ways as M, there's something to be said about a more bulbous cockhead massaging you from the inside. I began to think about how easy it would have been to fuck him silly with all my roommates being away, and M would never know. I try so hard at this monogamy thing, but I just don't think I'm cut out for it. Maybe it's best that A didn't show up.

Then there's the story of C. I can't even remember how I ever got talking to this guy about sex, but I know that we spent several conversations skipping out of work or over a drink after work discussing relationships and sex and the pros and cons of seeing multiple people at once (as that was what I was attempting at the time) and we realized that we had a mutual attraction, but he was (and still is) in a relatively stable relationship and has been for over 2 years. He's significantly older, which to me only meant that he was more experienced, which made him all that more attractive. Aside from one time where we kissed in his office, it had all been teasing and sending of pictures and such. I was not about to be a homewrecker, and his office did not allow for a whole lot of privacy. Until today, when somehow I ended up in the basement of his office.

I fell for the line "You have to pee, don't you? Let me show you where the bathroom is." So I followed him down the stairs, and he went into the one stall of the bathroom, and guided me in with him and said, "Now go pee." He kissed me, and in between kisses, I asked him what his fascination with urination was. Up until this point, I had never known a guy personally that was interested in such things. I told him it was awkward, but yet I still undid my belt and took my pants down and sat down. This of course put my face right in front of his cock...he was quick to undo his pants as well. It was as beautiful as I had seen in pictures...deliciously thick. Without thinking, I took his hardening cock into my mouth. As he got harder, I wrapped my hand around his shaft as I tried to take him in as deeply as I could. He moaned, and said I should pee, and I didn't think I could so I just kept sucking. He told me to turn around but I declined, mentioning that he had bad timing. He then said he could put it in my ass, and while the thought was tempting, I knew he was too big for ass fucking without lube, and I told him so. He mentioned saliva, but I shook my head no. He then undid his pants all the way and pulled them down a bit...I was then able to reach under his balls...every man loves that spot just beneath them. After a few more deep sucks and concentrating on his large cockhead with my tongue, he came more quickly than I had expected, and tasted delicious. I kept sucking on the head and just below it as he came, making sure I had gotten all of his sticky juices. He was stifling moans...I think my cocksucking talent surprised him. He told me that he didn't know what it was about me, but that he hadn't been "bad, like really bad" like that in a long time. I smiled...it was good to know I still have some appeal. He put himself back together, and realized that me peeing in front of him wasn't going to happen, so he stepped out for a moment while I did my business. When I came out, he was like "Ok, the story is that you were trying to sell me drugs, and that we were haggling about pricing, and that's why we were in the bathroom with the door shut. Ok, cool." And then he changed the subject and we walked up the stairs and went back to his office as though nothing had happened.

So much for monogamy. Did I mention that M used to work for C? And that it's M's birthday? A new low, yet I surprisingly don't feel that horrible.

3 comments:

Rogue said...

Was this your first time with C? And what went through your gorgeous head when you had his thickening cock in front of your face, the moment before you took him in your mouth?

S said...

Yes, this was the first time I had done anything with C. And what's funny is that I don't think anything really went through my head...I just saw a beautiful cock and I needed to suck it. C had previously sent me a delicious photo of his glistening cock and also a video of him pleasuring himself many months ago, so I guess you could say that I'd thought about that moment previously. I've fantasized about C on-again off-again since the summer.

As for A, after not coming over that one night, he hasn't contacted me. And for the sake of my relationship, that's probably best.

Rogue said...

Mmm. Thank you.