Tuesday, July 24, 2012
The tables have turned...
He all but begged to come over back in January. A boy I chatted with a bit on Fet that didn't go very far had randomly reappeared wanting to fuck. But not just fuck, to dominate me, something I'd been craving for a long time. While I've had men that have taken control, those experiences didn't contain the "yes sir" and the power exchange that I'd been dying to experience. This gentleman, although 6 years my junior, seemed to really know what he was doing. His various photos and related commentary seemed to show that others were willing to submit to him, and so was I. We'll call him KH.
He took a different angle than I had expected, sitting down in my living room and asking me about my day. This didn't last long however, I was not about to let it. I needed him and whatever he was willing to offer. He asked me my safe word, and soon as it left my lips I was instantly on the bed via his hand against my throat. He was not playing games - he meant business.
He left bite marks on my chest, I cried when he teased me with the crop, scared of him hitting my pussy. I didn't expect to cry and felt embarrassed, but he seemed to eat it up. It was a delicious sense of release. I got down on my knees and sucked his cock. Before I knew it, I was on all fours getting my ass railed without any warm up, being told I couldn't cum until he told me to. It hurt, but I relished the pain, the attention, the knowledge that he was using me for his pleasure. It wasn't about me, it was about him, and I loved being his toy.
The next day I was on a flight to LA and could think of very little but him and the experience for the rest of the trip. I tried to explain to him in text how and why the experience was so significant to me, but he didn't seem to understand or care. It was frustrating, but I also understood that he has just gotten out of an intense relationship and I was just a distraction, among many other girls. I just couldn't get him off my mind...I wanted more.
KH had posted a wish list online, mostly small toys. He had told me I was too loud when we played, so I picked the ball gag. I eventually told him who sent him the gift, and when I ran into him in the bar, he asked why I sent it to him. I told him that although I wasn't sure how I felt about the idea of being gagged, but I wanted to please him and thought that he could use it on me the next time we played. But that "next time" remained elusive.
The internet eventually told me he was in an exclusive relationship. Despite his ability to dominate many girls at once, I could tell that he is much more comfortable being with only one woman, and perhaps bringing in other play partners on occasion. Despite my desires, I was happy for him, and had all but written off the idea of seeing him in my bed ever again.
Still, he had this effect on me that I couldn't shake. He was my main source of material for masturbation fodder, and yet when I saw him in public I couldn't help but be bitter that we hadn't been with each other again. Bitter and wet.
One day he posted that he had lost all his contacts and wanted people's numbers. Not saying who I was, I texted him and expressed an interest in submitting to him again AND his woman. He wasn't really sold on the idea, most likely because he didn't know who I was but also because he alluded his woman being quite busy and not having much time for him, so I could understand that for the time that he was with her, he'd want her to himself.
A few months later I was with a group of friends at a local bar, one of which was an old friend that had moved away but was visiting for the weekend. KH started talking to this friend and I was drunk and probably glaring at him, so he tells my friend "We fucked and now she hates me, so I should probably go." Forgetting about our "anonymous" conversation, I texted him to say that I didn't hate him. I wondered if his mind would change about my proposition now that the source had been identified, but I wasn't about to ask.
A little later that night I go outside and find one of my best friends engaging in a literally 10-15 minute long hug with him. People do strange things when drunk, but I was just standing there feeling awkward and jealous but unable to walk away. I still wanted him - I couldn't help it. I hated that he had such an effect on me, especially when I seemed to have virtually no effect on him. I was just another number. But on some level that was also hot, to know I was included on such a list, albeit for an extremely brief experience.
I did my best to put him out of my mind. I started fucking a few new people, nothing kinky but still satisfactory. I was willing to wait until my upcoming move to a much larger city to try and seek out any kinky people. However, there was another boy on Fet that was looking to be used by a girl with a strap on. I love giving people their first experience so I agreed to let him come visit.
That same evening, before this new boy came to visit, I noticed that KH had started a kinky tumblr blog which posted updates to twitter. Of course this was too tempting to resist looking at. One of the posts showed a .gif of a man being pegged with a big black strap on and his caption was "I need some of this, today, now." He had mentioned to me previously that he can "take it in the ass like a champ" but I didn't think this was ever something he would crave, it just seemed against his dominant nature. Still, I sent him a private message saying "Oh I'll most likely be doing that later tonight".
I had completely forgotten I had sent this until a week later when he sent a message back asking me what I referencing and that I should I text instead. I couldn't pass up the interaction even though I'd been trying to avoid him.
As soon as he found out that I am willing to peg, he said that he may have to visit me because it had been far too long since he had been properly fucked. My pussy immediately became wet at the mere mention of the idea that he would offer his ass to me. He explained that his relationship had become open and that he could play with whomever he wished. After craving him for over six months since the first time we played, I couldn't help but be amused...now I had something that HE wanted. A flip of the power exchange that I wasn't really expecting but I liked it more than I thought I would. Still, when he mentioned that he might go "full sub" I was bit sad. I relished the idea of giving him what he was craving but also feared that I would respect his dominance less if I saw him in such a state. Still, I was willing to try, and what actually happened was much more fulfilling than I ever could have anticipated.